Workplace Bullying and the Bystander Effect: Why Good People Stay Quiet
- Merly Hartnett
- Mar 22
- 3 min read
Updated: May 30
I've been working with a client who has been dealing with workplace bullying and harassment, and let me tell you, it’s heartbreaking.
But here’s the thing: the biggest issue isn’t just the bully. It’s the colleagues who see what’s happening and choose to stay silent, hoping to avoid becoming the next target.
The reality?
When bystanders ignore workplace bullying, they become part of the problem. Left unchecked, bullying doesn’t just harm the direct victim, it seeps into the workplace culture, creating a toxic environment where no one feels truly safe.
Why Do People Stay Silent?
In one word: denial.
Many employees convince themselves that the problem is temporary, that it only affects the person being bullied, or that it will just go away.
But here’s the truth: no one deserves to feel humiliated, diminished, or threatened at work. And hoping the problem will fix itself is not a solution.
If we want to create healthy, safe workplaces, both individuals and companies must step up. Ignoring bullying doesn’t make it disappear, it simply pushes good employees to leave. And maybe that’s what it takes, a mass exodus for change to happen.
The Cost of Workplace Bullying
Simon Sinek once shared a powerful analogy about the Navy SEALs. He explained that when building great teams, trust matters more than performance. A high performer who lacks trust can destroy team morale.
Workplace bullies do exactly that.
They might be productive on paper, but they create a culture of fear, stress, and instability.
As Australian of the Year David Morrison famously said,
“The standard you walk past is the standard you accept.” In other words, if bullying is tolerated, it will continue.
What Exactly Is Workplace Bullying?
Workplace bullying is repeated harmful behaviour aimed at intimidating, humiliating, or undermining someone. It’s not the same as a one-time conflict or disagreement, it’s a pattern that wears people down over time. The impact is far-reaching, affecting both mental and physical health.
Mentally, it can lead to anxiety, self-doubt, detachment, and even burnout or depression. Some people experience PTSD after prolonged mistreatment.
Physically, the stress can trigger headaches, sleep issues, digestive problems, a weakened immune system, and even chronic conditions like high blood pressure.
If You’re Facing Workplace Bullying
Know this: you deserve to work in an environment where you feel safe, respected, and valued.
Here’s what you can do:
Document everything. Keep detailed records of every bullying incident, including dates, times, and witnesses. Save emails, messages, and any other proof.
Report it. Follow your company’s formal process. If they don’t have one … that’s a red flag. Present clear evidence and explain the impact the behaviour is having on your work.
Prioritise your wellbeing. As an HCANZA-Accredited Health & Wellness Coach, I strongly recommend using available support like your company’s Employee Assistance Programme (EAP) for free counselling. Also, focus on movement, mindfulness, and activities that bring you joy to recharge. You can download the free SOS Burnout Cheat Sheet for a printable PDF on quick 5-minute strategies to overcome the overwhelm by clicking here.
Know When to Walk Away
If your mental and physical health is suffering and nothing changes, it may be time to find a healthier workplace.
Remember: No job is worth constant mistreatment.
Companies that ignore bullying will eventually lose good employees. If leaders want to build strong, resilient teams, they must step in.
Addressing toxic behaviour isn’t just about protecting individuals, it’s about creating a workplace where everyone can thrive.
Workplace bullying won’t stop on its own.
If you see it happening, speak up.
If you’re experiencing it, take steps to protect yourself.
If you’re an employer, recognise that a culture of silence enables toxicity to spread.
A healthy workplace is one where respect is the standard, not the exception.
Lastly, visit SafeWork Australia for more information, they have a document called the Worker’s Guide to Workplace Bullying.
Join the free Burnout Recovery Mini Course for women who want to restore their energy and avoid burnout without sacrificing their ambition. Sign up here
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