Making Time for What Truly Matters: Lessons from Muddy Adventures and Scroll Holes

This is a photo of my son last year.

He was outside having the time of his life playing in the mud. He was fully immersed in the moment, laughing, creating, and just being. It got me thinking: When was the last time I felt that free and present?

When was the last time you did?

As busy mums, life often feels like an endless to-do list, work deadlines, school runs, meals to cook, and the million other responsibilities pulling at us. It’s easy to feel like there’s not enough time in the day for everything. 

But what if I told you there’s a way to get some of that time back?

A Thought-Provoking Question

I was listening to a podcast with Dr. Adam Alter, a leading psychologist, and he posed a powerful question:

"Imagine it’s the end of your life. You’ve hopefully lived a long, fulfilling life. But someone offers you 20 extra years. Would you take it?"

Of course, most of us would shout “YES!” without hesitation. But here’s the catch: those 20 years? You already have them.

Dr. Alter’s research revealed something mind-blowing: the average person spends around 20 years of their life just scrolling on their phone. Yep, 20 years.

Let that sink in.

The Cost of Scrolling

I know social media feels like an escape, trust me, I’ve been there. After a long day, it’s tempting to flop onto the couch, grab your phone, and scroll through Instagram or Facebook. But what starts as “just five minutes” often spirals into a full-on scroll session. 

And how do you feel after? 

Drained? 

Guilty? 

Overwhelmed?

Social media isn’t inherently bad, but it’s designed to hook us in. Think about it, movies have credits to signal when they’re done. But platforms like Instagram and Facebook? They’re bottomless. No cues to stop, no natural end, just an endless stream of content engineered to keep you there.

It’s no wonder we end up feeling like there’s never enough time in the day.

Why Do We Keep Scrolling?

First, let’s be clear, it’s not your fault. Social media is designed to exploit our brain’s need for comfort and distraction. It’s like a digital version of junk food: easy, and comforting, but not exactly nourishing.

Second, many of us use scrolling as a way to “relax.” It feels effortless, but the truth is, it’s like a social media hangover, you wake up feeling worse than before.

Reclaiming Your Time

Breaking free from the scroll hole doesn’t mean swearing off screens entirely. It’s about replacing mindless scrolling with intentional, restorative activities that truly recharge you. 

Here are a few ideas:

• Call a Friend: A real, heartfelt conversation can lift your spirits in ways scrolling never will.

• Read a Book: Escape into a story that feeds your soul instead of draining your energy.

• Be Present with Your Kids: Watch a movie together, play a game, or just talk, fully engaged and undistracted. (And hey, movies have credits, so you’ll know when to stop!)

• Rediscover a Hobby: Painting, baking, knitting, whatever brings you joy and a sense of accomplishment.

Learning to Control Technology

Technology has given us so much, but it’s still relatively new in the grand scheme of things. It’s up to us to learn how to use it intentionally, rather than letting it control us.

For me, this means letting go of certain online commitments. I decided to shut down my Facebook group, Beyond Just Survival. While I started it with the best intentions, it became one more thing pulling me online when what I truly value is connecting with you here, in a more meaningful way.

A Final Thought

When I watch my son playing in the mud, he’s not worried about what’s next on his to-do list. He’s fully present, finding joy in the simplest things. 

What if we could embrace a little bit of that childlike wonder? 

What if we gave ourselves permission to step back, refocus, and use our time for what truly matters?

You don’t have to do it all at once. Start small. Maybe tonight, instead of reaching for your phone, you read a story to your kids or make yourself a cup of tea and journal your thoughts.

Because, at the end of the day, the time you save from mindless scrolling could become the time you invest in living.

What’s one small way you could reclaim your time this week? Let me know, I’d love to hear from you in the comments!

For more support, you can download a free Download my SOS Burnout Cheat Sheet: 5 Minute Strategies to Calm Overwhelm and Reclaim Energy to get you started.

Merly Hartnett, INHC HCANZA Accredited Career & BurnoutCoach @ Nurture Ambition Helping mums balance career growth with joyful motherhood.