The Secret No One Tells Burnt-Out Mums About Their Brain

Mum Trying to Get Some Hours in Before Pickup

There’s something I really want you to remember, especially on the days when you’re running on caffeine, chaos and a half-eaten snack you found in your handbag.

When you’re in fight, flight, or freeze mode, it might look like running late for drop-off with no coffee or hearing “Mum!” for the 437th time while thinking for f%k’s sake*.

In that moment, something happens in your brain that no one really talks about.

You have two parts to your brain:

🧠 the emotional brain and 🧠 the logical brain.

But here’s the thing… when your emotional brain kicks in, it doesn’t share the controls with the logical brain.

It hijacks it.

Like a total takeover.

That means when you’re stressed, overwhelmed, or deep in the feels, your logical, decision-making brain basically goes offline.

So if you've ever reacted in a way you later regretted (maybe sent a fiery, emotionally-fueled essay long text message or raged-ate an entire packet of Tim Tams, please know, you weren’t being “too emotional” or “irrational.”

Your brain was doing exactly what it’s wired to do. But that doesn’t mean you have to stay stuck there. Take a deep breath, cause this is where I want you to have a bit more self-compassion.

The Emotional Default

Now here’s part two of this insight, the more often you let your emotional brain run the show, the stronger it becomes.

It starts to feel normal.

It becomes your default.

You might even know someone like this, maybe in your family or at work. They see the negative in everything. They spiral into worst-case scenarios. They bring drama even when there’s none to be found. Being around them drains you and they probably don’t even realise they’re doing it.

And you might be wondering… am I starting to do that too?

Here’s what I’ve learned from working with burnt-out clients, many of whom also struggle with anxiety, depression, or other mental health challenges. Some stay stuck in the stress spiral, while others begin to shift. The key difference?

They learn to reframe.

How Reframing Can Shift Your Burnout Brain

Let me pause for a second and say this clearly:

Your feelings are valid. They matter.

Reframing isn’t about toxic positivity or pretending everything is fine. It’s a brain-based tool to help you respond to stress instead of being consumed by it.

Think of it like going to the gym but for your mind. You’re building a new muscle. Your brain is plastic (neuroplasticity), it can be rewired, and you can teach it to take back the wheel.

Reframing literally changes how your brain interprets a situation. It taps into parts of your brain like the hippocampus (where memories are stored) and the amygdala (which triggers emotion). When you practice reframing, you interrupt the automatic stress response, also known as the “amygdala hijack” and give your logical brain a chance to re-engage.

Over time, this becomes your new superpower.

You still experience stress, but it doesn’t floor you.

You get to choose your response.

You get back up quicker.

You keep going.

This is what building resilience looks like.

So, How Do You Reframe?

It starts with something simple.

At the beginning of almost every coaching session, I ask my clients: “What’s new and good?”

And yes, I know how annoying that can be at first. Especially when you feel like everything is going wrong and you just want to vent.

But here’s the thing: that question interrupts your brain’s stress loop. It gently nudges you to find one tiny thing that’s working. Even if it’s just, “Well… at least I remembered to drink some water.”

This is where reframing begins.

With one small moment of awareness.

So ask yourself: What’s a question I can keep in my back pocket, a mantra to help break the loop when I’m stuck in stress or survival mode?

Here are a few powerful ones to start with:

1. What else could be true here?

2. Is this a fact or a feeling?

3. How would I see this if I weren’t so exhausted?

4. What would I say to a friend in this same situation?

5. Does this need to be fixed right now… or can it wait?

6. What might this moment be teaching me?

7. What do I know for sure and what am I assuming?

8. Will this still matter next week or next month?

9. Is there one small win I can take from this, even if it’s hard?

10. What do I truly need right now, not what I should do, but what I need?

11. How can I respond instead of react?

12. Can I find one thing to be grateful for, no matter how small?

    
    

Speaking of gratitude ... It’s actually a gateway to reframing. Gratitude trains your brain to look for what’s good even in the chaos. And when you do that consistently, you begin to build emotional resilience.

One thought at a time.

Remember, you’re not broken, mama. Your brain is just overwhelmed.

Join the free Burnout Recovery Mini Course for women who want to restore their energy and avoid burnout without sacrificing their ambition. Sign up here