Shiny Object Syndrome and the Career Trap of Saying Yes to Everything

Merly Hartnett
2 days ago
4 min read

The Career Skill We Don't Talk About Enough: Delayed Gratification — The Hidden Cost of Chasing Every Career Opportunity

One of the hardest career skills I've had to learn isn't networking, interviewing, or building confidence.

It's saying no.

Recently, I reached a milestone that I'm incredibly proud of, I submitted my final assignment for the term, meaning I'm now 50% of the way through my postgraduate studies.

As a working mum, a homeschooling mum, running a coaching business, working professionally, and studying, this hasn't been easy. There have been many moments where I've questioned whether I could keep going. #truestory

Ironically, as I've become busier and more committed to this goal, more opportunities have started appearing. An organisation approached me about career consulting work, I was invited to speak at an event supporting and inspiring women, and more enquiries came into my coaching practice.

They're all good opportunities, they're all exciting, and every part of me wanted to say yes.

Learning is one of my core values. I genuinely love working with new organisations, gaining different experiences, and continuing to grow professionally. Saying yes has opened many doors throughout my career.

But this time something felt different.

I realised that every new commitment wasn't just another opportunity, it was also taking me further away from the commitment I'd already made to myself.

When saying yes becomes self-sabotage

While reflecting on a career consulting opportunity, I found myself explaining that my work centres around helping professional women build careers they love without burning out. At the same time, much of my work supports people recovering from psychological injuries, anxiety, depression and post-traumatic stress that have developed after prolonged workplace stress.

As I said the words out loud whilst typing the email, I had one of those ahhhh moments of self-awareness (imagine a soprano belting a note in an amphitheatre).

How could I encourage my clients to protect their wellbeing while ignoring my own advice? The opportunity itself wasn't wrong but it wasn't aligned with my current priorities, I'm working on piloting a new project at work whilst I'm still doing uni and mumlife.

And accepting it would have come at the expense of something I'd already decided to commit to, at least for the remainder of this year.

The science behind delayed gratification

Psychologists call this delayed gratification, the ability to resist an immediate reward in favour of a more meaningful long-term outcome. Career development is one of the greatest examples of delayed gratification.

Qualifications take years, building expertise takes years, sometimes growing confidence takes years and creating a sustainable reputation takes years.

Most meaningful career goals don't happen quickly.

The problem with shiny object syndrome

Shiny object syndrome (SOS) isn't about making bad decisions. It's about making too many good ones.

Every opportunity looks exciting, every project feels worthwhile, and every invitation sounds like it could be the one that changes everything.

But careers aren't built by collecting opportunities. They're built by intentionally choosing which opportunities deserve your energy.

Every "yes" is also a "no" to something else.

Sometimes that "something else" is your health, sometimes it's your family, and sometimes it's the goal you've already committed to, just like me.

What staying focused gives you

Choosing delayed gratification doesn't mean becoming closed off to opportunities.

It means filtering opportunities through your priorities.

When you stay focused on your long-term goals, you're more likely to:

Make meaningful progress instead of constantly starting over.
Build deep expertise rather than spreading yourself too thin.
Protect your mental health and reduce the risk of burnout.
Finish what you've started.
Feel more confident because you're honouring your commitments.
Make decisions based on your values instead of fear of missing out.
Create a career that is sustainable, not just successful.

The opportunities will keep coming

One thing I've realised is that opportunities don't suddenly disappear because you say no. If anything, they often continue to increase as your experience grows.

The challenge isn't finding opportunities ... it's having the courage to choose the right ones, which is easier said than done.

For me, right now, that means finishing my postgraduate studies, it means protecting my wellbeing, and it means trusting that there will be more speaking opportunities, more career consulting work and more exciting projects in the future.

Because there will be.

(Now breathe.)

A question worth asking yourself

The next time an exciting opportunity lands in your inbox or DMs, instead of asking:

"Should I say yes?"

Try asking:

"Does this move me closer to the person I'm trying to become, or does it simply distract me from the goal I've already chosen?"

Sometimes the hardest career decision isn't saying yes.

It's saying no, staying the course, and trusting that delayed gratification will take you further than chasing every shiny opportunity ever could.

A practical tip: Implementation Intention

Knowing your priorities is one thing, but sticking to them when an exciting opportunity appears is another.

This is where implementation intentions can help. Psychologists describe implementation intentions as creating a simple “if-then” plan. So, instead of relying on willpower in the moment, you decide ahead of time how you want to respond.

For example:

If a new opportunity lands in my inbox, then I will pause for 48 hours before responding and consider whether it aligns with my current priorities.
If I feel tempted to say yes because I’m afraid of missing out, then I will revisit the commitments I’ve already made to myself.
If an opportunity requires me to sacrifice my wellbeing, family time or existing goals, then I will recognise that it may not be the right opportunity for this season.