The Truth About Self-Care: What Working Mums Really Need to Recover from Burnout

She’s not just a mum, she’s a woman rediscovering herself through real self-care.

When you hear the word self-care, what pops into your mind?

A candlelit bath?

A glass of wine after the kids are in bed?

A sheet mask and a scroll through Instagram?

Sure, those moments can feel nice, and I've done them all and even joked about it with my other mum friends but if I were being really honest, they barely scratch the surface when it comes to what real self-care looks like.

As a Burnout and Resilience Coach who works closely with working mums navigating career overwhelm, I’ve seen this myth do more harm than good.

Out of curiosity, I searched hashtags like #selfcaresunday and #selfcareday on Instagram. What came up? Inspirational quotes, robe selfies, face masks, bath bombs, yoga poses in perfect lighting... you know the drill.

Somewhere along the way, self-care has been sold to us something that is marketable, photogenic, and “treat-yourself” focused.

But here's the problem, self-care is not a luxury or indulgent.

When you're balancing work deadlines, family life, and a never-ending to-do list, believing that self-care is just pampering does a massive disservice to your mental health, your energy levels, and your long-term wellbeing.

What Real Self-Care Actually Looks Like

When I reflect on my own self-care journey, it's often boring, uncomfortable, and invisible to others. I mean, who's going to clap about me going to bed at 9.30 pm every night?

Here’s what real self-care for mums juggling work and life actually looks like:

• Saying no without guilt

• Setting boundaries at work and home, even if it makes others uncomfortable

• Eating something nourishing when you're exhausted and tempted to skip meals

• Going to therapy or working with a coach to do the deeper work

• Moving your body to feel better, not smaller

• Asking for help even when it feels hard

• Getting enough sleep, even if that means logging off earlier

• Having tough conversations you’ve been avoiding

• Leaving the workplace that’s slowly draining your soul

  
  

For many of my clients, asking for help, setting boundaries, and having tough conversations doesn’t come easy and it’s something I deeply relate to myself.

Reflection: Where Are You Putting Everyone Else First?

This year, one of the most powerful questions I’ve asked myself is:

“Where in your life are you putting everyone else first? And what would shift if you chose to prioritise you?”

The truth is, you can love your family and still prioritise your needs.

You can be great at your job and still need rest.

You can take care of others and still take care of yourself without guilt.

So... Are Bubble Baths Bad?

Absolutely not. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying a hot bath, a cheeky Netflix binge, or a square of dark chocolate in peace. If only I had a decent bath!

But here’s the question I invite you to ask:

Is this helping me heal, or just helping me cope?

Sometimes self-care looks like bubble baths.

Other times, it looks like showing up for yourself when it’s uncomfortable.

The real magic happens when you learn to discern the difference.

Why This Myth Is Especially Harmful for Working Mums

As mums, we’re often told to “take care of ourselves.” But what does that actually mean when you’re drowning in work emails, an endless to-do list, laundry, and mental load?

You might be gifted a massage voucher for Mother’s Day, but what you really need is someone to watch the kids for three hours while you breathe and do nothing.

Here’s what self-care might really look like for you:

• Calling in support before you hit burnout

• Creating space to reconnect with the “you” beyond “mum”

• Saying no to coffee catch-ups when your body needs rest

• Letting go of being the “default parent” for everything

• Choosing your peace over people-pleasing

  
  

How do I know? Because I’ve been there too and some weeks, I still am.

Let’s Redefine Self-Care

It’s time we took self-care back from spa-day stereotypes.

Let’s start treating it as essential maintenance, not as a luxury for the lucky few who "have time."

Because when we commit to real self-care boundaries, rest, nourishment, and support, we don’t just function better.

We feel better.

We show up better.

We live better.

Self-Care Isn’t Solo: You Don’t Have to Do It Alone

If you’re on a burnout recovery journey, please know this:

Self-care also means letting yourself be supported.

We’re not meant to navigate stress, career changes, motherhood, and identity shifts in isolation.

Today I spoke with a client who sees herself as highly independent and is struggling to accept help from her family. It made me think maybe you need this reminder too. So I invite you to reflect on this:

Who in your life truly supports your self-care journey? And more importantly, how can you open yourself up to receive more support this season?

Whether it’s a coach, mentor, or trusted friend, surround yourself with people who honour your growth, not just your hustle.

Want Support?

If this post resonated with you, and you’re ready to stop surviving and start thriving, I’d love to support you.

I work with career-driven mums who are ready to:

• Recover from burnout

• Build sustainable self-care habits

• Reclaim their energy, purpose, and career clarity

You can learn more about how I work with clients here.