Boundaries That Protect Your Energy: Practical Ways to Set Them at Work & Home
- Merly Hartnett
- 7 days ago
- 3 min read
Updated: 6 minutes ago
You know that moment when everything starts to feel just too much ... the work deadlines, the mum-guilt, the endless expectations.
It sneaks up on you, right?
That’s when boundaries become your secret weapon.
Not because you're being selfish but because you’re being strategically kind to yourself. And yes, you can do that without turning into a Hyde (yes I have been watching the new series of Wednesday) or letting everyone down.
Why Boundaries Are Your Energy Bodyguards
Psychiatrist Dr. Pooja Lakshmin shared that pretty much everything you feel like resentment, irritability, exhaustion, can often be traced back to one thing: missing boundaries.
She points out that traditional "self-care" (bubble baths, retail therapy) is surface-level. I wrote a whole blog post about it here. What you really need is boundary-backed self-care that protects time, energy, and mental space.
Imagine boundaries not as walls, but as spaces you create. Spaces that help you align with your priorities, values, and wellbeing.
That’s agency!
And as Dr. Lakshmin defines it: agency is the power to take action that changes your life, even when everything around you is pulling in the opposite direction.
3 Signs Your Boundaries Are Wearing Thin
Dr. Lakshmin highlights three subtle yet powerful signals that say your boundaries are compromised:
Chronic irritability or anger: snapping at loved ones even when you don’t mean to.
Expecting gratitude: doing extras and feeling bitter if they go unappreciated.
Feeling silently resentful: regularly sacrificing your needs without even noticing it.
These aren’t character flaws. They’re your alarm signals telling you:
“You need a boundary right here.”
How to Start Setting Boundaries (Without the Guilt Trip)
Notice where you feel drained. That dread when your phone rings off the hook. That "should" that haunts your evening. These are boundary cues.
Pause before you agree. Don’t say “yes” on autopilot. Ask: “If I say yes, what am I saying no to?”
Communicate flexibly. Instead of a flat “no,” try: “I can’t do it now but can we revisit in a few weeks?” or “I’m maxed out. Could someone else help with this?”
Practice small wins. Gently refuse one social invite. Delegate a task. Over time, boundary setting becomes instinctive.
Remember: guilt or selfishness are feelings, not truth.
You can be kind-hearted and still say no.
Where could a boundary protect your energy this week?
Maybe it’s unsubscribing from extra commitments, asking for a deadline extension, or scheduling a tech-free evening.
Drop your boundary experiment (and how it felt) in the comments ... I’d love to hear it.
Feeling stretched too thin or unsure how to protect your energy?
You don’t have to navigate it alone. A free clarity call is a 45-minute chat where we’ll uncover what’s draining you, what’s working, and create a simple plan to protect your energy ... without guilt or overwhelm.
Trudy, one of my clients, shared:
“Merly's cheerful, positive but realistic attitude is a breath of fresh air… She goes the extra mile to help and has provided me with many different avenues to consider… I feel very lucky to have been teamed up with her and do not doubt it has helped me to get onto the right path at the right pace.”
Let’s work together to help you feel lighter, clearer, and more in control of your energy.