Why Your Self-Worth Isn’t Measured by Your Weight or Job Title

I Used to Believe My Worth Was Something I Had to Earn

I used to believe that if I looked a certain way or achieved a certain level of success, then I'd finally feel good enough.

I would push through exhaustion, obsess over my body, and chase the next career milestone, thinking that maybe this time I’d feel more confident, more capable, more worthy.

But it never happened.

Even my closest friends could see how hard I was on myself. They saw in me what I couldn’t yet see in myself. You know who you are. Don't get me wrong, there are still moments I catch myself falling back into old patterns.

"You are enough just as you are. You don’t need to become more, achieve more, or look different to be worthy."

Where Did We Learn This?

Somewhere along the way, we internalised the belief that our worth is tied to how we look or what we achieve. That if we just worked harder, looked better, or did more, we’d finally earn the right to feel proud of ourselves.

The truth is, self-worth was never meant to come from the size of our jeans or the title in our email signature.

And yet, so many of us (me included), especially women and mums, carry that belief quietly for years. I’ve seen it in my own experience, in conversations with trusted friends, and in the women I serve as a Career & Wellbeng Coach.

We believe we have to do it all, and look good doing it. We hustle for a sense of value that was never meant to be earned in the first place.

Have You Ever Thought…

“If I were thinner… would I feel more confident at work?”

“If I just landed that next promotion… maybe I’d feel better about myself.”

I hear these thoughts from women in my community and from the past version of myself.

But here is what I know now, and what I want you to know too.

"You are enough just as you are. You don’t need to become more, achieve more, or look different to be worthy."

Your Self-Worth Has Nothing to Do With Your Weight or Job Title

Let me say it clearly:

You are not your job title.

You are not your weight.

You are not how productive you were today.

You are a whole, worthy human being right now.

Not when you get the promotion.

Not when you fit into those old jeans.

Not when your to-do list is complete.

Four Reasons This Belief Is So Damaging

1. Chasing ‘Enough’ Leads to Burnout

When your sense of self-worth is based on how you look or what you achieve, you are always chasing validation. You’re outsourcing your value to things that can and will change.

2. It Disconnects You From Your Body

Focusing only on appearance or performance pulls you away from how you actually feel. You might look successful on paper but feel numb, anxious, or completely depleted inside. That disconnect is one of the root causes of burnout.

3. It Steals Joy From the Present

You could have a beautiful family, a business you’ve built from scratch, and a life many admire, but if your focus is always on what needs fixing, it becomes impossible to enjoy what you’ve already created.

"Don’t wait until you’ve achieved it all to feel good. Joy is found in presence, not perfection."

4. It Sends the Wrong Message to Our Children

Our kids are watching us. What we model becomes permission for them. Imagine raising daughters who believe their worth comes from within, not from how little they eat or how much they do. Imagine sons who grow up witnessing women who honour their wellbeing and value themselves.

This starts with us.

The Link Between Body Positivity, Self-Worth, and Burnout

When we tie our self-worth to how our bodies look whether it's chasing a smaller size, comparing ourselves to filtered images, or trying to “bounce back” after motherhood, we create a constant undercurrent of pressure.

That pressure is often invisible but exhausting.

It shows up in the way we skip meals, overwork ourselves to feel validated, or feel guilty for resting. Instead of living in partnership with our bodies, we treat them like projects that need fixing. Over time, this disconnect chips away at our energy, our confidence, and our joy.

The more we push ourselves to meet unrealistic standards both in how we look and how we perform, the more likely we are to experience chronic stress, anxiety, and burnout.

Body positivity isn’t just about accepting your appearance, it’s about reclaiming your relationship with your body as something worthy, wise, and enough.

Your body is not a problem to fix. It’s the vessel for your life.

Your career does not define you. It is simply one part of your purpose.

You are allowed to rest, say no, and take up space just as you are.

Whether you are in yoga pants or a power suit, whether you are running a business or running on two hours of sleep, you are worthy.

So, What Can You Do Instead?

This is what has helped me, and what I now guide my clients through in coaching.

Separate Your Worth From Appearance or Achievement

Begin to notice when your inner voice sounds like a harsh critic. That voice is not your truth.

Pause Before You Push Through

Ask yourself: Is this aligned with how I want to feel? Or am I chasing external approval?

Speak to Yourself Like Someone You Love

Would you say those things to your daughter, best friend, or client? If not, they don’t belong in your head.

What You Can Do Today

1. Unfollow accounts that make you feel “less than.”

2. Take three slow breaths before your next task, your body is not a machine.

3. Write a message on your mirror: I am not my job title. I am not my dress size. I am enough.

Your Next Step:

If this speaks to you, know you are not alone. I coach women who are ready to ditch the hustle, heal from burnout, and reconnect with the parts of themselves they’ve buried under expectations and pressure. Learn more about my services here.